Discernment Counseling
Currently, I am not accepting new clients for discernment counseling.
traditional couples therapy doesn’t work when one person is considering divorce.
That’s where discernment counseling comes in.
Discernment counseling is designed for couples in which one partner is considering ending their marriage and one partner wants to stay together. It’s also for couples in which both people are uncertain whether to continue the relationship.
While couples therapy is designed to help you work on your relationship, discernment counseling is focused on helping you figure out whether or not you want to work on the relationship. It will help you develop confidence in determining your next step.
Unlike couples therapy, which can be a long term commitment to address problems in the relationship, discernment counseling is a short-term process that ranges between 1 to 5 sessions.
In discernment counseling, you’ll gain clarity about what’s brought the relationship to this point.
You’ll also gain a better understanding of each person’s contributions to the challenges in the relationship.
how discernment counseling works
Discernment counseling only requires the commitment to attend the initial session, which lasts 2 hours. During this time, I’ll meet with both of you, first together, and then individually. At the end, we will all come back together again and you’ll make a decision about whether or not to schedule another discernment session.
Most of the time spent in discernment counseling is spent one-on-one with me, rather than all together as in couples therapy. This works well because each of you will have very different needs and concerns during discernment counseling. If you are the person who’s considering ending the relationship, you’ll likely be focused on developing clarity about your next step.
If you’re the one who would like to continue the relationship and work to make it better, you will likely be needing emotional support and discussions about how to best cope with the uncertainty of the current situation. I will spend time with both of you developing an understanding of what happened in the relationship in order to not repeat the same mistakes again (either in this relationship or in a future one.)
fees
$200/hour
1st session (2 hours): $400
Follow up sessions (90 minutes): $300
All sessions are online, using a secure telehealth platform.
Contact me
FAQs
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Discernment counseling is designed for couples in which one partner is unsure about whether to stay in or leave the relationship.
Discernment Counseling is not appropriate when:One partner is certain they want a divorce.
One partner feels pressured or coerced to attend discernment counseling.
There is a history of physical or psychological abuse in the relationship.
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Unfortunately, no. Insurance only covers therapy and counseling when it is focused on treating a diagnosed mental condition.
When I work with couples, I do not diagnose either person because this subtly frames that partner as “the problem” in the relationship.
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No. It’s essential that both people feel free to talk honestly in sessions without the fear that what they share with me will end up being part of court proceedings later.
About Me
I’m a licensed therapist in Iowa, Illinois, and Colorado, with over a decade of experience working with couples and individuals. I’m also a trained discernment counselor, divorce coach, and certified family mediator. I’m the co-founder of Alchemy of Love, which provides online relationship programs for couples and individuals.
I’m passionate about working with couples at every stage of relationships, from providing premarital counseling to couples early in their relationship, to supporting long-term couples develop relationship skills to continue to allow their relationship to flourish, to helping couples and individuals who are divorcing to be able to end their relationship with grace and dignity.